妻の不倫を見抜くチェックリスト その2

公開日: 

壁ドン

 

行政書士 兼 離婚情報コーディネーターの中森です。

 

その1からのつづき。

 

◆妻の不倫のきっかけは?

1.妻の職場(パート先含む)

 上司・同僚・取り引き先社員・出入り業者・お客さん。

2.同窓会

 昔の学友と再会して。

3.初恋の相手と再会して。

 結婚前の恋人とリバイバル恋愛。

4.夫の会社の社員、夫の友だち。

5.子どもの学校の父兄、子どもの学校の教員。

6.地域社会の活動で。

 祭りの稽古・テニスクラブ・ダンスなど

8.カルチャースクールのクラスで。

 講師・同じスクール生と。

9.インターネットの書き込みなどから。

10.ホストクラブで。

 夫が高所得者の妻、自営業者の妻に多い。

 

◆あいびきの状況は?

妻の不倫相手が独身者の場合、その男性の部屋で会うことが多い。

相手が結婚している場合、ラブホテルなどに行く、あいびき場所としてアパートやマンションを

借りる例もある。デートが重なるとこのほうが合理的と考えて、6畳ひと間に布団を一組、

新婚所帯もどきの道具をセットしている。互いにカギを持って自由に出入りしているのが特徴。

不倫相手が妻より年上の場合は、経済力・男の力強さ・優しさの「男の魅力」そのものにひかれ、

年下の場合は、「私が守ってあげたい、私がついていてあげなければ」という「女の本能」に

目覚めたいう例が多い。

 

◆夫から妻への対応は?

妻の不倫は民法770条1項「配偶者に不貞の行為があったとき」に該当し、離婚事由になります。

しかし、離婚を望まずに夫婦修復を求める場合は、

 

A 夫婦の話し合い

B 家族会議(妻が話し合いに応じないため)

C 仲介人・妻側親戚・友だち に調整を頼む

D 行政や民間のカウンセラーに相談

E 家庭裁判所へ円満調停を申し入れる

F 妻の不貞相手の妻と連携して「互いの家庭を守ろう」と関係清算を強化する

G 妻の不貞相手を(なるべく自力で追跡。無理なら探偵などへ調査依頼)突き止めて、

 対決し、責任追及する

 

このA~Gの中でもインパクトがあるのはFとG

妻側の心理としては、自分の後ろに男がいる場合は夫に対して強気になります。

妻が何も持たずに家を出た場合、修復は難しくなります。

しかし、妻の後ろに控えている男の関係清算を迫り、それに成功すると、女の心理として

よりどころがなくなり子どものいる場合、戸籍でまだつながっている夫のところに帰って

くる可能性は高くなります。

 

不倫妻たちのほとんどは、子育てに一区切りがついて、生きる目的がぼやけてきた、もう若くない、

しかしこのまま埋もれたくない。。と自己実現のとっかかりに不倫がありました。そこには非日常

的な空間がありいわゆる「不倫脳」になっていきます。

男にとって妻を寝とられるのは最大の屈辱であり、プライドをズタズタにします。しかし、夫婦は

空気のような存在ではありません。いたわりあう気持ちを忘れないことが大切です。

 

 

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なかもり法務相談事務所は、離婚問題という先の
見えない暗闇に灯りをともし、再び子どもと笑顔で
暮らしていくためのお手伝いをさせていただく
事務所です。

行政書士であり夫婦問題専門のカウンセラーが
対応致します。お気軽にお問合せください。

電 話 082-533-6036(広島市西区)

メールでのお問い合せはこちら から

『浮気・不倫問題相談110番 広島』はこちら
『養育費をあきらめないで!広島』はこちら

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