増えている妻からのモラハラ 被害を解決するためには…?

公開日: 

苦しむ男性

行政書士 兼 離婚情報コーディネーターの中森です。

 

最近では、妻からモラルハラスメントを受けている

男性からの相談が増えています。

 

このような家庭内でのモラハラ、この加害者と関わって

しまったら、その経験から得るところは何もありません。

せいぜい、自分自身のことがいくらかわかるようになる

くらいなのです。

この問題を解決する最終的な方法は相手と別れることなのです。

 

 

問題解決としては、

①自分がモラル・ハラスメントの被害を受けていると認識する。

②相手と対立する。

③信頼できる人を見きわめる。

④法律に訴える。

です。

 

 

◆①モラハラであると認識する

被害者がまず最初にしなければならないことは、加害者によって

責任がすべて自分に押し付けられていたことに気付くことです。

それから自分が感じている罪悪感はとりあえず脇において、

この問題を冷静に分析してみることです。

 

そのためには、相手に寛容になりたいという自分の理想を捨て、

自分が愛している(または、かつて愛した)相手は性格的に

障害を持った危険な人物だと認識して、何があっても自分

身を守らなければならないと考えを改める必要があります。

 

被害者が加害者の支配から抜け出さない限り、

身を守ることはできません

 

また、加害者にどんな感情を抱いていたとしても、加害者が自分にとっ

危険で、悪意のある存在だと認める必要があります。

 

加害者から非難されたときに、被害者は弁明をする必要はありません。

弁明をしたとしても、揚げ足を取られたり、ミスをつかれたり、あるいは

善意までねじ曲げられて、結局は新たな攻撃の材料に使われてしまいます。

一番いいのは黙っていることです。

また、加害者は相手の言ったことは間違いだと思っているので、

何を言っても疑いを抱きます。時には相手の言葉を悪意に解釈したり、

嘘ばかりつくと相手責めることもあります。

 

こうしたことを考えれば、被害者は相手と話し合ったり、弁明したり

しようとない方がいいのです。

もし、相手と話す必要があれば、第三者を仲介にたてるべきであり、

どうして直接、言葉を交わさなければならない時は、どう対応するか

時間をかけてゆっくり考えてみることです。

 

 

◆②相手と対立する

加害者に支配されていたせいで、被害者はそれまで相手とうまくやろうと

努めすぎていたところがあります。

なので、モラハラに被害から身を守ろうと思ったら、ここは対応の仕方を変え、

対立を恐れず断固とした態度で臨む必要があります。

 

被害者の態度が変わると、最初のうち加害者は攻撃を激化させ、

ますます挑発してきます。そうやって相手に罪悪感を持たせよう

とするのです。

 

「あなたには同情心というものがないの?」

「あなたみたいな人間とは話をすることができない」

 

そんなことを言ってきます。

しかし、ここでためらってはいけません。被害者は身動きできない

状態から抜け出し、相手との間に対立を引き起こさなければなりません。

状況を変えるためには被害者が行動にでるしかありません。

 

そしてこの対立は支配から抜け出すきっかけとなって、被害者に活力

を取り戻させます。

 

事態を解決するためには、また少なくとも改善するためには、

相手と対立しなければならないのです。

 

その時期が遅くなるほど、支配から抜け出すためには激しい対立が

必要になります。

 

 

◆③信頼できる人を見きわめる

被害者は相手に対して心理的に抵抗しなければならなくなります。

しかし、それをするには誰かの支えが必要です。

 

しかし、逆に言えば、どんな状況にあろうと、たったひとりでも

被害者を支持してくれる人間がいれば、被害者は自信を取り戻す

ことができます。

 

しかし、ここで注意すべきは、家族や友人、あるいは仲裁に

入ろうとする人たちの助言です。

そういった人たちは自分自身、加害者に影響されている可能性

があり、中立的な立場で助言をしているとは限らないのです。

 

ちなみにモラハラの被害を受けると、まわりの人間のうち

誰が本当に信頼できるのかわかることが多く、たとえば、

身近に思っていたある人はその人自身が加害者に操られていて、

被害者の言うことを疑い、逆に非難したりします。

 

また状況がまったくわからない人々はこの問題に関わろう

とせず、逃げることを選びます。

 

そういったなかで、本当に信できる人は、

被害者を裁くことなく、いつでも役に立とうとそばに

いてくれる人です。

何があろうと、自分自身でいることができる人です。

 

 

◆④法律に訴える

モラハラの状況から逃れようと思ったら、一番良い方法は相手との接触

を断つことです。結婚している夫婦であれば離婚という選択肢があります。

お互い話し合いによる協議離婚は困難になるため、調停ど法律に頼る

ことになるでしょう。

 

法的な判断はあくまでも証拠もとに行われます。

しかし、モラハラの場合は証拠を取っておくことが難しく、

またそれを証明することも困難なケースが多いのも事実です。

 

日々の日記や相手から発せられた悪口、中傷、態度などは

メモ程度でもよいので記録に残しておくことです。

それらは離婚理由を証明する際、証拠となりあなたを守ってくれます。

 

 

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
なかもり法務相談事務所は、離婚問題という先の
見えない暗闇に灯りをともし、再び子どもと笑顔で
暮らしていくためのお手伝いをさせていただく
事務所です。

行政書士であり夫婦問題専門のカウンセラーが
対応致します。お気軽にお問合せください。

電 話 082-533-6036(広島市西区)

メールでのお問い合せはこちら から

『浮気・不倫問題相談110番 広島』はこちら
『養育費をあきらめないで!広島』はこちら

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

広島ブログ
にほんブログ村 家族ブログ 離婚相談へ
にほんブログ村 http://ping.blogmura.com/xmlrpc/4ljr43q2p2md

 

シェアありがとうございます

  • このエントリーをはてなブックマークに追加
  • Pocket

Comment

  1. www.cabsat.nl より:

    Wondering how one can play money video games online and likewise
    win cash in India. With years of experience in taking part in all
    versions of rummy, we’ve successfully created a vital information to every game including the strategy and rules in addition to supplied a list
    of the websites to play rummy online for free or real money.
    Play rummy online and you may win good-looking quantities of money; you can fill your pockets with lakhs of
    rupees, not just some hundreds. I’ve played the sport all over India at numerous
    clubs and likewise in a few of the online rummy websites.
    Up to now few years that I have spent in playing, I’ve earned
    so much – each money and priceless expertise which I’m sharing on this weblog post.

    When you mastered on rummy abilities, you possibly can experience the thrills of lucrative wins and grab bundles
    of amazing prizes. You should use the joker card to meld impure sequences or units.
    Preserve observing your opponents moves to
    get an thought of what cards they should declare their
    win. Chance of getting items palms are often very low
    in rummy. You get often mix playing cards or some time very unhealthy palms.
    INDIAN RUMMY Card Game From Special K is a free trial
    software program utility from the Card Games subcategory, a part of the Games & Leisure category.

    This consists of the classic video games INDIAN RUMMY, Gin Rummy, 500 Rummy, Oklahoma Rummy, Michigan Rummy,
    Boat Home Rummy, Pinochle Rummy, Kaluki, Around the Nook Rummy, One
    Meld Rummy, Wild Card Rummy.

    Few fascinating platforms where you can play online rummy games.
    On-line rummy games appear to be one of the ways to
    make some good actual cash from residence on the condition if you know to play rummy really.
    Even in the event you win constantly it is your personal talent, not game suppliers.
    So taking part in online rummy games is protected, realizing you conscious of what
    you might be doing. Welcome to the fantastic world of Rummy,
    the place we at RummyRoyal present rummy players from world
    wide with a wealth of Rummy gaming data and a medley of variations of rummy to play online.
    Properly then you’re in luck, RummyRoyal affords real
    cash on-line rummy video games where you can win actual money prizes playing your favorite rummy sport.

    In the event you’re a traditionalist you then’ll want play our traditional Rummy” and Gin Rummy” video
    games, nevertheless if you’re trying to discover new territory – check out
    some of the lesser recognized variations of Rummy
    akin to Canasta, Burraco, Okey or Tripoley. At Rummy Royal, we make it simple
    so that you can learn how to play rummy earlier than you play rummy
    for money on-line! Read up on the various Online Rummy
    video games we provide, obtain the free rummy video games platforms and begin being profitable at RummyRoyal
    today! To download the free app Gin Rummy Plus –
    Multiplayer On-line Card Recreation by Peak Video games, get iTunes now.

    We develop the net and cellular video games with best
    offers like most rewarding loyalty program, every day free tournaments with points,
    easy withdrawals and a lot more. Mobzway developers
    render the best services to relish the expertise of the rummy video games, providing multiple
    features i.e. participant and game administration in accordance with digital and actual money.
    Digital money has been all the time been attractive
    for the users as some may worry the loss of chips and cards attributable to inexperience
    of recreation, whereas then again Mobzway have added the feature of actual money as effectively to
    take care of the joys and fervour of extremely skilled gamers who are
    keen to take risks of the game and earn an additional hand over the money performed for.

    Mah Jong is a very talked-about recreation played in historic China, whereas Hanafuda is a method of rummy performed in Japan. These are observed to be the primary games where the act of drawing and discarding comes into play.
    With so many theories, it’s as much as you to resolve the place rummy could have originated from.
    As for me, I’ll persist with having fun with the game and successful cash with out worrying
    about the past of its origins for now. Laying Off is so as to add card(s) from your hand onto the
    cards which can be already on the desk to be able to meld
    it. You aren’t allowed to maneuver a card from one meld to a different meld.

    Indian Rummy Property Honest showcasing one of the best property investment options.
    Maang Patta- Single #CardPoker Play On-line #Multiplayer
    #Sport (@wesrch #wesrch #PressRelease #PR)
    Click on: #IndianRummy. The evulution of Indian #rummy
    continues to be a mystery to discover. Heeeeyyy Friendssss I Have
    F0undddd Workinggggg Online Hacck visittttt : – ?946185 PLAY ON-LINE INDIAN RUMMY GAME AT RUMMY PASSION – YouTube 2016-four-14.
    Heeeeyyy Frienddsss I Have Found Workingg On-line Hacck visitttt : – ?965219 RummyCircle
    review No.three Indian rummy website – YouTube
    2016-4-14. To find a Rummy Game Website Improvement, you possibly can run a search on net and visit
    the websites of the most important sport development corporations.

    We assure you to providing you the proper quality Rummy Web site Designing and Improvement at the best prices.
    We are masking all facets of web growth
    life cycle, including internet design, web improvement,
    testing and maintenance. We have comprehensive expertise
    in flash based games internet, cell and desktop and different wealthy
    internet purposes equivalent to small sites, portfolios, software prototypes,
    and much more. From custom web applications, recreation applications and
    even mobile functions we’re an award successful and trade main full service digital firm.
    With our specialists in design and growth we keep on the top of design and know-how.

    Developed sport engine that aids the development of any game UI.
    Actively concerned with the event group to carry the perfect user expertise of the game.
    If you’re in search of developing your own rummy recreation web site kindly Contact Us.
    That was a extremely extraordinary expertise with IMS serices and i am certain that it’ll be on-line money
    making rummy game website as the preliminary response is really superb,
    i’ll use them as soon as again. Now online gaming is the new means of gaming and with this format, it is convenient for everybody in addition to provides much privateness.

    With each certainly one of us having access
    to Smartphone’s, PC, tab, iPads or a laptop, getting on-line is simple and we all can comfortably play a
    recreation of our alternative.

    How conventional card video games equivalent to poker, rummy and teen patti have taken the mobile gaming business by storm.
    When Aman Dhingra , a travel agent in Delhi, began enjoying Crush Saga in 2014,
    certainly one of 93 million people internationally who reportedly performed massively fashionable puzzle
    sport that 12 months. No marvel, among the high 10 grossing video games on Google Play
    in India in February, Sweet Crush Saga trails Octro’s Teen Patti,
    and is intently followed by Teen Patti Gold , a desi model of poker played with three cards.
    Indians won’t find it shocking, however even Americans do not
    appear baffled by this.

    The typical Indian is not familiar with King Arthur
    mythology nor wellversed with Hearthstone,” says Ankit Jain, cofounder of Moonfrog Labs, within the context of two popular games globally.
    The numbers flaunted by the cellular gaming firm substantiate the popularity of the Indian card game.
    Card video games connect with people,” says Jain whose startup raised $16 million from Tiger International and
    Sequoia Capital in 2015. In a bid to popularise its rummy, the gaming firm roped
    in actors Prakash Raj and Rana Daggubati for its first TVC final July.
    A gaming enthusiast who played poker in highschool and school, Gera never planned on rummy,
    now one in all its profitable games.

    One can never win a hand of rummy except one is good at it,” says Gullapalli, who
    has launched a digital campaign to search out new users.
    When he, a lawyer, decided to show entrepreneur by throwing his hat within the poker ring,
    there have been furious protests from his family.
    Nagaland is one among three states in India, the
    other two being Karnataka and West Bengal, that have categorized
    poker as a ability-based mostly game. We are going to begin a web based poker college to unfold consciousness,” he says.

    Our industry continues to be affected by this taboo which is curbing its potential for development,” says Roland Landers, CEO of All
    India Gaming Federation (AIGF).

    We’re dedicatedly engaged on transferring our expertise in online gaming industry, into delivering
    nice on-line money video games in India, which you can get pleasure from and make some profit on the aspect.

    On-line Poker in India has turn out to be very popular,
    and our workforce is ready to make flawless gaming expertise
    for all Indian poker players. Our purpose is to guarantee the highest rates at our visitors’ feedbacks, making a fair competitors to Indian poker websites, by delivering only one of the best on-line money video games in India.
    That means we are making sure that satisfaction of our
    players is guaranteed, having full comfort by trying out our
    exclusive online gaming portal.

    We’ve developed a fee system with a number of redeem methods, to be able to enable you get the
    money you’ve got fairly won, fast and easy. We’re right here
    to provide you with all commodities of wire transfers,
    enabling you to play our online cash video games in India with full consolation and delight right from your house.
    Excessive Standard Cash Video games Poker sites in India are reaching great
    popularity, gaining extra visits on every day basis, and our staff is working on making sure that every one
    excessive requirements of money games in India are fulfilled with the intention to offer
    you quality and interesting on-line poker and rummy games.

    You are enabled to play excessive-high quality poker games and enter on-line rummy competitions,
    battling with real-time players on the opposite facet of
    the net, having your funds and winnings guaranteed to be safe and paid
    off in report time, having several fee methods out there for
    your cash withdrawals. The one factor wanted so that you can start taking part in our Indian on-line poker, is to make your account without spending
    a dime and start competing with different gamers.
    Get pleasure from your on-line poker and rummy video games, all with safe funds and
    high-high quality game designs. is a gaming portal owned by K365 Net Property Pvt Ltd.

    After a hand is accomplished, the participant on the left of the previous supplier
    becomes the new seller. The vendor distributes the cards by dealing every participant one card at a time in clockwise direction across the desk, until all
    gamers have the required variety of cards. The player on the left of the dealer will take the primary flip.
    The first part of a turn is the drawing part,
    by which the player takes a card from the stock pile or the discard pile and adds it to
    his hand. After this comes the melding section, in which the player can optionally place melds onto the desk by enjoying both a run or a set. http://www.cabsat.nl/member.php?u=76835-JodyHubert

Your Message

メールアドレスが公開されることはありません。 * が付いている欄は必須項目です

はじめての方へ

ご相談者様の声

中森 豊