暴力とは? 男はどうしたらよい? その1

公開日: 

男性 怒り

行政書士 兼 離婚情報コーディネーターの中森です。

※「暴力とは?男女間の暴力を考える」からのつづき

 

男女間暴力には、

1言葉による暴力、2身体的暴力、3心理的暴力、4性的暴力 の4種類があります。

 

1言葉での暴力

相手に向かってバカにした言葉や汚い言葉を使う(バカ、ブス、デブ、汚い…など)、相手に対して欠点

あげつらったり否定的なことを言ったりする、どなる、叫ぶ、皮肉やいやみをいうことなどが該当

します。

 

2身体的暴力

相手に向かって物を投げる、唾を吐きかける、噛みつく、つかんでゆする、部屋や家から出ないように

さえぎる、監禁する、押したり突いたりする、押さえ付ける、髪の毛をつかんで引っ張る、平手で顔を

たたく、げんこつでなぐる、物を使ってたたく、首を絞める、危険物や凶器を使う、タバコや熱いもの

で火傷させる、蹴る、足をひっかけて倒す、などです。

 

3心理的暴力

物を投げたり壊したりする、不機嫌になってむっつりしたりする、相手にたいし自分はダメな人間だと

思わせる、感情を見せない、無視する、自分の失敗を決して認めないで相手の言う事実を否定する、

自分の態度や行動を相手のせいにする、事実をねじ曲げたり矮小化したり否定したりすることで相手を

混乱させる、次にどんな行動をするかわからなくさせてびくびくさせる、わざと浮気して嫉妬させる、

浮気をしているだろうと相手を責める、つきまといをする、友達や家族の前で侮辱する、友達や家族に

連絡させない、あるいは会わせないでだんだん孤立させていく、プライバシーをもたせない、やさしく

するのと虐待するのを交互にして混乱させる、「自殺する」とおびやかす、相手の大切な物を壊したり

ペットを痛めつけたりする、などの行為です。

 

4性的暴力

相手がしたがらないのにセックスを無理強いする、怖がらせていやと言えなくさせておいてセックスを

求める、セックスのとき痛めつけたり侮辱したりする、力や暴力でレイプする、避妊に責任をとらない、

セックスに応じないと不機嫌になったり冷たくする、見るのをいやがっているのにポルノなどを無理やり

見せる、友達にふたりのセックスのときのことを面白おかしく話す、セックスに応じないと浮気してやる

と言う、などです。

 

◆他者を守ることは自分を守ること

これを見て男性は「あれもこれもダメなのか…」と思ってしまいます。しかし、種類は多いものの、

これらの行為の根本は「他者の生き生きとした人生を阻む行為」であるということです。自分自身

生き生きとした人生を守るためにこそ、他者の生き生きとした人生を守らなければなりません。自分

の自由が奪われるのはイヤだと思えば、上記のようなことはしないことです。そうすることが、私たちの

自由が守られる前提となります。

 

それと心に留めておきたいのは、夫婦間、恋人間と言った親密な関係に入ったとたん、「他人の生き生き

した人生を阻んではいけない」という原則が忘れられがちになるということです。相手を他人と見るこ

とができなくなるのです。「夫婦はひとつ」とか「恋人同士はなんでも許し合える関係」といっ

考え方が蔓延している世の中なので、忘れられてしまいがちになりますが、どんな親しい相手でも、

他人は「他人」だということです。

 

つづく

 

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